Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg (000_hester_000) wrote,
Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg
000_hester_000

I feel like my life would be better with more crack.

Gaah, rikoren, I swear I'll write you that fic eventually. ( But today is not that day. ) Here's this instead.

Title: Shinigami in the Closet
Fandom: Bleach
Author: Hester
Characters: Ichigo and Yuzu; also Rukia, Karin, and Isshin.
Genre: Crack
Rating: G... PG, maybe
Warnings: Uh... random kicking and slapping? About a split-second's worth of Rukia/Yuzu innuendo? If you can even call it that....
Summary: Yuzu is worried about what might be in her closet; Ichigo's not much help.
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, there would be more... um... ferrets! idk....
A/N: Why does nobody in this series seem at all perturbed by the fact that shinigami are supposed to be scary?



It was a dark and stormy night.

Yuzu had the flu, and had gone to bed early; Rukia was exhausted and had quickly followed her, albeit presumably not to the same bed. The remainder of the Kurosaki family was
sitting up watching tv. Isshin had recently developed a fondness for the absolute cheesiest of dramas, and had decided that it was his duty as a father to force his children, in an act of family togetherness, to watch with him. Karin looked ready to explode.

Ichigo was just about to run up to his room and switch places with Kon out of sheer exasperation, when suddenly, there came a loud crash from upstairs. A few seconds later, Yuzu came running down the stairs, her face flushed and full of terror.
“Shinigami!”

The others exchanged a look. Yuzu continued on, unaware of the fact that the others were staring at her now.
“I had this terrible nightmare! There... there... I dreamt there was a shinigami in the closet! At school today, a boy told us all this horrible story about how shinigami were real, and they hid in peoples’ closets and then came out and ate them. And I told him to stop, because it was really scary–”
“–And I kicked him,” interjected Karin. “And even though he shut up, and I told Yuzu not to worry about shinigami,” she cast a furtive glance at her brother, “She’s still been worried all day.”

“Don’t worry, Yuzu, Daddy’ll–” Isshin was cut off by a slap across the mouth.
“Shut it, Goat Chin. Come on, I’ll show you there aren’t any shinigami in your closet.”

A few minutes later, Ichigo was, of course, proven right. There was a lot of miscellaneous stuff piled up in the twins’ closet, proving that Karin had been disobeying her sister’s rules about tidiness, but no shinigami.
“See, there’s nothing there. Now go to sleep, you’re sick.”

Yuzu walked halfway to her bed, then paused.
“Ichi-nii?”
“What?”
“Are you sure there aren’t any shinigami in your closet?”
Tags: bleach, crack, fanfic
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