Emilie

(no subject)

I miss fandom. But the more I think about it, the more distant I feel from it.

It's not that there aren't fannish things I want to be involved in. For one thing, I still have a number of Pokemon fics I want to write. But, you know, when I first got involved in fandom, I was a very different person than I am now. Most of the manga I used to love bore me now; instead I read scholarly nonfiction about religion in the ancient world.

There's something inherently uncomfortable, I think, about realizing something you used to care about desperately doesn't mean all that much now. Not to mention the fact that most of the things that I'm interested in now are things almost no one in fandom cares about: I wish that somewhere there was a community to discuss Zoruas and the origins of Greek religion.

Wellll . . . it's not just fandom, really. Upon the realization that, seriously, a BA in History means nothing if you're not actually going to grad school, I'm planning on going back to school for something pragmatic in logistics --- which will mean I'm going to school out-of-state for the first time in my life. I really need to go back to school if I want to, you know, have an actual career, and in all seriousness I'm looking forward to it. On the other hand, it also means I'll be cut off from my friends and family.

It's a bit uncomfortable, because I can't help but feel that I've metamorphosed away from being one thing, but haven't become something new yet.
Articuno // Pokemon

"Foil"

Title: Foil
Fandom: Pokémon
Characters: Green, Red
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~800
Warnings: None
Summary: Green is sure that Red will always be a stepping stone for him, always second-best.

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Pancakes // Naruto

(no subject)

Aaand, just now as I'm going to post I realize I no longer remember my password for ff.net.

I mean, I realize that getting it back is incredibly simple.

I'm just kind of not sure if I . . .

. . . care . . .

enough anymore.
Red // Pokemon

The fic I earlier & unkindly referred to as the Eldritch Abomination

Title: The Third Door
Fandom: Pokémon
Characters: Unnamed Rocket grunt; Giovanni; Red.
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~4000
Warnings: Mentions of self-harm and suicide, most off-screen character death ever.
Summary: A patient placed in one of Kanto's fine psychiatric institutions following what would seem to be a botched suicide attempt has an unusual story to tell about the fall of Team Rocket and that strange boy Champion who never speaks.
A/N: An alternate take on the DeadRed theory; Gen I-II game canon.

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Completely insane // Doctor Who

/ crosses fingers

Day after tomorrow. I am going to finally do that thing I didn't do when I was 16, like a normal person would. I am going. To get. My license.

I am going to get it.

I am.

Drive bravely, little car. Drive bravely.
Wandering // Naruto

FFFFFFFFFFFFFF

You know when you have an idea for something you'd like to write

and it seems relatively simple and short

and then you actually try to write it

whycan'tispeedwritedammit
Nyan // Tsubasa

Hester rambles about being afraid of Pokemon

I've been reading a bunch of Pokemon creepypasta. I don't really like creepypasta that much --- it's not that it scares me; it's just that I've never found most of it interesting. (Or rather, when it is good, I always feel a bit sad that the author is sitting around writing creepypasta when they could clearly be writing published horror short stories.) And honestly, most of the Pokemon creepypasta isn't . . . exactly . . . the cream of the crop.

And yet, I can't stop reading it, because ---

Is it just me, or is there something really subconsciously creepy about the Gen I games?

I have no idea what it is, and I think it's completely absent in the later generations. But there's just something . . . something . . .

Like, Pokemon Red was my favorite thing in the world when I was 10, but I also had more creepy-crawly dreams about that game than anything else. I really vividly remember this dream I had in which the game gave me the option of killing all my Pokemon so I could have a team full of ghosts.

There's just something

something

scary

about those games.