You know, I was actually just going completely the wrong direction before. I totally identify with transwomen. Don't ask me why, given that I'm as far as I know, completely biologically female, XX, etc. etc.
Except that I've always wanted to be a girl so badly, more than anything in the world, and somehow I feel like I can't; I end up getting really upset, because honestly, all I've ever really wanted in life is to be a girl. And I get really scared because I can't even figure out what it is that's supposedly "preventing" me from doing so, and also because I'm afraid that I'm never going to actually get there.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Somebody tell me how one goes about being a girl. Because I'll keep being really unhappy until I can be a girl.