Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg (000_hester_000) wrote,
Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg

In memory of

I wanted to finish my novella this spring, so that a certain family member could read it before she died.

She died a couple of days ago.

Of course, since I wanted to finish it for her, that presumably means that I should still finish it in memory of her.

I'm also on the fence about whether or not that last statement is just bullshit. I mean, it seems to me that doing something "in memory of" someone basically means doing something you were going to do anyway and then tacking a dead person's name on the end of it to make yourself look deep.

The thing is, there's really no clear dividing line between actually doing something in memory of someone else and doing something purely for yourself. You can't ask a dead person what they want, so anything done on their behalf will always have much more to do with the way you would like to remember them than anything to do with them themselves.

What I'm saying is, it's completely impossible to get out of your own head, which is true in all situations, but that tendency is especially pronounced when dealing with dead people.

It's not so much that I think this is offensive per se; it's just that I want to be authentic, and I eschew the idea of pretending to motivations that I don't in fact have.

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