Well, more later, now I have to go help my mom put down carpet.
Edit: Ok, so I'm back now. So anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. So why does my dad always ask me what I'm watching? It's not as if he even pretends to care about the answer, apart from making a weird face and some stupid comment about it. And we can't really sit and watch tv together, seeing as unless the program is something he's specifically interested in, he pretty much just talks constantly about nothing in particular and is distracting. Plus, I watch tv because I need background noise while I'm working on something. Like right now, I'm beading a pair of plain canvas high-tops. And then he comes in, and keeps on talking at me about completely inane things. And then he wonders why I'm not taking an interest in what he's saying. It's because a) I'm busy ( and if I were to disrupt him while he was doing something, he would go all super-crabby on me in 2 seconds flat ). and b) his mouth is moving, but he isn't saying anything anyway.
Seriously, he spends more time talking about absolutely nothing than anyone I have ever met. And he's not terrubly talkitive, either, so that probably gives you an idea of what percentage of his talking is just sheer nonsense. It's really stupid, too, because he's probably one of the smartest people I know. So why does he sound so retarded every time he talks to me? It's like he only has two modes of speaking to people. Either he's like a college professor giving a lecture to advanced-level students; or he's talking to a brain-damaged eight-year-old. And apparently I fall on the brain-damaged eight-year-old side of the line. I mean, holy fucking shit. Although I am by no means a genius, I'm not stupid either. I have an IQ of 118. That's above average, you know. So why do I get talked down to so much?
This is basically a rough outline of the average conversation between us:
Dad: *stands in the doorway saying nothing*
Dad: Theodora [ that's our cat ] says 'I'm in charge! You should obey me and be my servants! I'm going to buy you midnight blue uniforms with gold buttons [ WTF? ] and make you wear them all the time!' That's what Theodora says.
Dad: 'What, are you not listening, human servant? Am I going to have to hire replacement servants? I think that my replacement servant [ this is referring to my uncle, who house-sits for us if we're on vacation ] is better. I'm going to hire him and kick you inferior servants out!'
Dad: 'Pay attention to me, servant!'
Hester: go away.
Dad: *gasp* Did you just tell Theodora to go away?
Hester: yes. *thinking: no, I just told you to go away*
Dad: that's not nice.
Dad: *offended* Well, you sound really enthusiastic.
Hester: I always sound like that.
Dad: *babbles about something else annoying. I think you probably get the picture by now.*
So what am I supposed to do about that? I mean, if I were to talk to him about it, he would reply that he doesn't talk to me differently because I don't seem to take an interest in anything serious. Well, duh. That's because 'serious' is Dad-ese for "let's all read a book about ancient Mexico and then develop theories about the people who used to live there". No thank you. Not interested.
I don't know. I wish that I could tell him how I would prefer to be talked to, but we such different personalities that I really don't think he would understand a word I was saying. It's so frustrating.