March 23rd, 2009

Practical advice

Death by plot holes

Unfortunately I happened to stumble across some of my old writing while I was looking through my files today. And oh dear god. OH DEAR GOD. Uh... please enjoy the following; it's probably pretty good for wtf value, at least. Anyway, I've realized that given the amount I tend to snark out beginning writers for having purple prose and just generally awkward descriptions, I should probably go ahead and have a taste of my own medicine. (Btw, if you ever see me doing any of the stupid things here in my current writing... please feel free to smack me over the head with my Stupid.)

Although in my defense, I was only about twelve or thirteen when I wrote this first one.

it was a traditional day at the hospital. The whining kids, the sickly adults, and, of course Jan Casbalica and Mary Tamsujub. The ER ward was full and Nathen and Mocha and Bill and Lauren and Gary walked in "We got the AIDS donations!" they had been collecting and recycling cans for 2 months and donated the $$$. Then they each went home. they all seemed so perfect he thought. How nice it would be 2 rip them apart limb from limb. That would be good. Yeah. Stupid little kids Lauren was only 8; but already a full fletched bitch. Still, time would rip them apart. Lauren and Gary would be preps. they'de probably get married and have a score of defective, children with lauren's snubby, bitchy nose, and gary's untidy flea riden hair. Nathen would be a punk and end up ripping little girls up in prison. He smiled Nathen had promise. Yeah. Bill would be a nerd. ugly twit. But what of little Mocha? He didn't know. probably rapeing the female population with Nathen. But Mocha just didn't have

I honestly have no idea where this was going anyway. Probably nowhere good. Also, I'm still unclear on why there would be little girls in prison in the first place. And I am quite sure I meant 'ripping up little girls while in prison' instead of 'going to prison for ripping up little girls,' which would at least have made some sense.

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