I feel completely shitty. Today was the day I was supposed to give blood, but I ended up chickening out at the last moment-- my excuse: I was going to have a panic attack. Okay, admittedly, I probably was going to have one and/or pass out, in which case they wouldn't have been able to use the blood anyway. But at the same time, at least then I would have tried my best, instead of dodging out at the last moment. Anyway, I just feel completely horrible, because I was really mainly doing this to prove to myself that I could ( I'm afraid of being touched, especially by people with needles ). So I guess instead I ended up proving that I couldn't. God, I'm such a coward, I feel completely awful. I wish I could go back and change my mind about it, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let me, since I already told them I was going to have a panic attack.