Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg (000_hester_000) wrote,
Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg
000_hester_000

Scrapfic, because I'm bored

Title: Unfunny Joke
Fandom: Count Cain
Author: Hester
Characters: Jezebel
Genre: Gen
Rating: G
Warnings: None (mild creepy Jezebel-ness, though)
Summary: Surely everything about this man is a joke....
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: The dreaded second-person pov! Maybe that's why I don't know what to do with this.



A joke. Everything about this man is a joke.

Who names their son Jezebel? The name proves not just that this man must have had extremely foolish parents, but that he himself shares in their folly; after all, any sensible person would change their name. It’s silly.

How have you met him? Maybe you are a patient of his, or perhaps you are just a bystander who has walked in on his plans by some coincidence. Either way, it’s hard to take a doctor with a name like this seriously. All you can think is that somebody must have had a seriously twisted sense of humor, although you’ll probably never know quite how right you are about that.

Any normal person, you think, would try their best to live down that silly name, but he isn’t conforming to your expectations. If anything, all he does is encourage your conviction that someone named Jezebel really ought to be female as he runs his fingers through his long, perfectly styled blond hair. You might wonder how many minutes per day he spends brushing and combing it and applying hair tonics. If you are bored, maybe you picture what his bedroom must look like: is there a box of curlers anywhere?

He has glasses too, and these are a joke as well. They’re cute little glasses, and when he’s not wearing them, they hang around his neck on a dainty beaded chain. The beads sparkle and glimmer like a rich woman’s necklace.

This man is a charlatan, a clown. Even as he approaches you, you feel like you could laugh at him. And then, all you can do is utter a horrified little cry as everything goes wrong, because then...

...Then you look into his eyes, and suddenly, it really isn’t funny anymore.
Tags: count cain, fanfic, gen, scraps
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