Each of you on my flist is assigned a random number from 1-27. Under that number are my honest feelings toward you, and/or something I've always wanted to say to you.
1. I don't know you very well. We talk a lot, but only superficially. You seem interesting and there are a lot of things I'd like to fangasm about with you; I wish we could have a more in-depth conversation at some point.
2. I admire you greatly; you're one of the most intelligent people I know. I like the way that you're interested in both fandom and srs irl issues-- and that you spend time thinking through your opinions on both. But sometimes I feel like you're snubbing me, although it's hard to know for sure. It could just be that you're busy, but it seems like you never say anything to me unless I initiate conversation. I wish I knew what you honestly think of me. Also, I miss the days when you were on more, because your posts were always fun to read.
3. I know you're going through a lot of problems and I hope you can start to feel better soon. Sometimes though, I don't quite know what to say to you because you can be so over-dramatic.
4. I used to deeply admire you from afar, and would never have expected you to friend me. As it is now, I just think you're amazingly beautiful. However, I know that if we knew each other irl, we wouldn't get along; the things we want out of life seem to be completely opposite of each other. I also can't believe you seriously like Twilight.
5. I would never say this to you directly, because it's really none of my business and because I don't want to offend you, but here's some unsolicited advice: your problems are most likely not as out of your control as you believe; they're likely exacerbated by the fact that you spend way, way too much time online and watching tv. If you turned off the computer sometimes and developed some irl hobbies, you would feel a lot better. The way things are, I get the impression you're inadvertently making yourself more depressed.
6. You're another person I used to look up to from a distance. I was extremely surprised when I learned what your life was really like. You should know that you come across very calm and collected in public posts. I very much hope that things work out for you; sometimes I worry about your well-being, but I'm never sure what I can say in order to be supportive without treating you like a helpless victim.
7. Despite the fact that we have several interests in common, we don't really seem to "mesh". You update a lot, and I tend to ignore you more than I should because I'm never sure what to say to you.
8. You were the first person on LJ who ever friended me, back when I was very stupid and very new to the interwebz. I feel bad for the fact that I've never really told you how grateful I was... you're a good friend, and I'm not. Also: you're one of the most serene people I've ever met; I wonder how you manage that.
9. You friended me out of the blue without us ever having spoken, so I almost didn't friend you back (because I often get confused by the strange people who friend me without introducing themselves). I'm glad I did decide to friend you, though; I think you're one of my favorite people on LJ. I love that we can talk on and on about all sorts of things; you're exactly the sort of person I've always wanted to know.
10. I would never, ever say this to your face, but tbh some of the things you write make me uncomfortable. Most of your romances involve relationships that share a certain feature, something that irl would be pretty damn toxic in a relationship. It's the fact that you apparently don't realize how toxic this would actually be that creeps me out a little. (And that your attitude implies that you consider it a standard part of any relationship!) I know that this is just fandom and you want to have your fun, but I still wish you would think things through more. Sometimes I want to scream at you for doing such things to characters I love. If you ask me if this is you, I will deny it.
11. You are the one I am envious of. You're pretty much everything I wish I could be. You're smarter than I am, more well-read, get better grades, and your writing is much better even though you're younger. I like you a lot, but I know that my envy impedes our relationship. Whenever we talk, I'm afraid that either you'll discover how jealous I am or else reject me. I wish I could put that aside and get along with you better. Also, because you have so many gifts, you owe it to yourself to do well in life.
12. We used to know each other irl and I admired you; I even loved you a little. When you asked me out, it was hard for me to turn you down. Now I am so glad I did. As far as I've gathered from our mutual friends, you have no life. Looking back, I don't really know why I admired you so much. My wish for you is that you get over whatever it is that's holding you back, and get a life outside of looking at hentai 24/7.
13. I don't have any feelings about you one way or the other, but I wish I did. We share so many interests in common; you're another person I'd like to have a more thorough conversation with.
14. I pretty much friended you because I was being self-conscious and wanted to have more people listed as my friends. As it is, you seem like I cool person, but we really have no relationship at all; I'm not sure if you know I exist. It's awkward.
15. You're a lot more mature than I was at your age. Just stop worrying about boys so much!
16. I miss the days when we talked a lot; you were a great friend, and you were always there for me despite the fact that you had so much going on in your own life. But I know you've had way too much stress in your life lately, so I can hardly blame you for not being around anymore. Still, I miss you and hope you'll come back someday.
17. You're smart, but so serious. I like you a lot, and I'm always flattered when you talk to me, because I know you're always sincere. Otoh, it wouldn't kill you to have fun once in a while, would it? Either way, I have a lot of respect for you.
18. I thought we would be good friends because when we met we were both obsessed with the same character. However, since you're really only interested in one pairing with said character, and that's a pairing I just don't get... You haven't been around for a while anyway, actually.
19. I like you, but I'm not really sure why we're friends. I think you're a lot more mature and have much more of an actual life than I do.
20. I sort of sympathize with you, but sometimes I also feel like you're just being an emo kid. Otoh, I think there's a really good chance you'll grow out of it. I feel like I've been a jerk to you sometimes, and I'm sorry about that.
21. We used to be friends irl. I miss being able to spend time with you; you were one of the people that helped me get through a difficult time in my life. I never told you I was in love with you, although you may have figured it out on your own.
22. I was sort of ambivalent about friending you, and tbh I thought we wouldn't really get along. But in the end, you've turned out to be a very important person to me; I hope you know that. You're someone I wish I could meet irl. I also need you to know that if you were ever to seriously hurt yourself, I would never forgive you. You're way too special for anything like that to happen.
23. I'm not sure how I feel about you. You seem to have vanished, anyway.
24. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
25. I unfriended you a long time ago; you're on this list because I was randomly thinking about you recently. I'm glad we're no longer friends; you were starting to get really strange there. I get that you like ______; and hey wtf, lots of people have crushes on fictional characters. But when you started writing love poems to ______ and making portraits of the children you two will apparently somehow have? Yeah, you lost me right there. For me, you crossed the fine line between fangirling and creepy obsession. I unfriended you because I didn't want to ignore you, but I honestly had nothing nice to say anymore.
26. We don't seem to talk at all anymore. I understand that, since our interests have gone entirely different ways, but tbh I still think everything about you is cool. Your sense of style is cool, the fact that you know so many languages is cool, the place you live is cool and somewhere I'd really like to visit, the fact that you hate Edward Cullen is cool. I hope that someday we'll have coinciding interests again.
27. You don't post much, and when you do, you just confuse me. All your posts seem to be talking to some specific mysterious person, and I don't want to butt in and ask you to explain yourself. Basically, I'm baffled by you.
...Whew. I was ambivalent about whether to disable comments or not, but I'll leave them on. You can comment if you wish, I guess. Some of these I will admit to if you guess the correct number for yourself; some I will neither confirm nor deny. Only #10 will I deny even if you do guess rightly.